I want to get this down even though I’m not really sure how to write it.
Today, I was tired, but not sleepy, so instead of taking a nap, I sat down to meditate.
Because Nony was in the other room playing video games and chatting with friends, I put on music and a night mask to cover my eyes. I’ve found tone music on Amazon that works perfectly. The pace seems slow when I first start, but as I get into the meditation, it seems like it goes just the right speed. Much of the classical music I tried before felt too fast, so I appreciate the slow changing tones.
I guess I should add that while I’ve been meditating fairly consistently, most of the time there’s been a specific focus. Quite often, I’ve been returning to my early college experience, and having a redo of some times then that needed revising. There have been a few other revision trips, and the rest of the time has been spent exploring the house or driving my new car.
Speaking of the car, LOL I heard a knock on the door today and my first thought was that it was someone bringing the car to me.
Anyway, I sat down cross-legged and “I AM” started playing through my head. I focused on the tones and the words, and then for a bit, I pondered “I.” After that, I considered “AM” and the meaning of the word, “a form of the verb, ‘to be.'” I considered the conjugation of AM, and as I toyed with the word, I began understanding what Neville meant about focusing on the term. I began to see myself as separate from my body, not floating over my body, but I was infinte and limitless. Limitless was a word that I kept coming back to. Boundless was another word. All powerful. I was aware of myself as God, aware of what I’d gotten a quick brief glimpse of a few months ago at the beginning of all this, that accepting Neville’s statements as truth meant I couldn’t be afraid of the vastness and complete unlimitedness of God.
Today, I saw it. I saw that everything was possible, just with a thought. That nothing was held back. I don’t know how long I was in that state, probably much less time than it felt like, although all told, I think I meditated for about an hour today.
A little later, when doubt tried to crowd in, I said, “Get thee behind me, Satan,” and for the first time, understood Jesus saying that to Peter. It wasn’t that Peter was trying to deceive or trick Jesus, it was that he was trying to plant a seed of something that didn’t fit with God’s plan.
One last note, and then it’s time to get off here. I’ve found that there’s always time. I needed to remember this, although it was a lesson I first learned years ago. Your meditation/prayer times will always take just the perfect amount of time, so if you feel pulled to do so, know that the time will expand to fit. ❤️